Monday, September 9, 2019

NO REGRETS


CHARLES H. PERKINS

NO REGRETS

A few months ago I was hosting a round table discussion on marriage. One of the young ladies in the group asked me a question that I really struggled to answer at the time.  It’s not that the answer was hard for me. It’s that I was concerned that my answer would sound a little pretentious. She asked me how I handled my regrets in my marriage.  The truth is I have no regrets. I tried to say that in a way that could sound believable, but, I found myself reaching which is something that I do not do normally.  Were there problems? Of course. Disappointments? Of course.  Misunderstandings? Of course.  Over the course of time those things come up. That’s life. But, we stayed the course and worked our way through the problems and disappointments.  We overcame the misunderstandings. Each situation was different so there is no one answer as to how we got through.  Some things went her way. Some things went my way. Some we compromised on. Some things had no answer so we just moved on.  All of that contributed toward me becoming the man that I am now. So there are no regrets.  All of the highs, all of the lows and everything in between helped to shape my life.  So, no regrets.  We both love and trust The Lord and His Word.  It says in Romans 8:28 that all things work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.  We have definitely seen that work in our marriage these 46 years.  So, no regrets.  God has truly blessed us with each other. We value, protect and appreciate what we have in our marriage.
I think that as you get older, you value your marriage more. You realize that there is no time to waste on regrets. “Regret” is not a thought that even comes up. I sometimes believe that there in not a man in the world who has more joy in life than I have.  There is no one who is more at peace than I am.  There is no one who loves life more than I do.  I love my wife at a depth now that did not exist in me when I was young.  And the love continues to grow.  I enjoy loving her. I enjoy her company.  Young love is great. But a love that has matured has weathered some storms and is rooted and grounded in God’s Word makes young love look almost like hate in comparison.   In fact, there is no comparison. The more we read God’s Word, the more we learn to love. That is where we are now.  And the cool thing is the love continues to grow.  It has not hit a plateau.  It has not bottomed out. 
We just celebrated our 46th anniversary.  I know other couples who have been married longer than us and are still very much in love.  As I said, young love is good. Old love is great.  When I share about our anniversaries I hope to inspire young couples to stay the course and reap the benefits of a long, fruitful love affair. I want them to see that there is such a thing as a strong, lasting, happy marriage. I particularly want them to see that there is such a thing as a Black Christian man who loves his wife more than anyone but God. There is such a thing as a Black Christian man who will be there loving his wife until his last breath. As you know, we don’t get great press in the media. So, young couples, I say to you: Don’t give in. Don’t give up. Don’t give out.  Love God! Love your spouse.