Thursday, August 2, 2007

Heavenly Marriage

Ever since I have been a Christian, I have been excited about the idea of Heaven. I used to wonder why most of the Christians I knew were not excited about Heaven. Yeah, they want to go there, but they aren't as pumped up about it as they are about getting a new car or a new house. This has always seemed strange to me since Eternal Life, Heaven, is the primary thing that Jesus talked about. It is the primary reason He died on the cross. Yet, it seems that Christians spend very little time thinking about what Jesus spent most of His time talking about. Then it occurred to me that maybe the reason for the lack of interest is that so few Christians know how much the Bible says about Heaven. They get most of their concepts of Heaven from the movies and cartoons. I have to admit, the idea of sitting around on a cloud playing a harp for eternity is not very appealing. In the Bible, Heaven is described as a “kingdom” which indicates power and prominence; a “country” which gives the idea of identity; a “city” which brings to mind culture, creativity and productivity. And obviously, whatever is there is better than places like New York, Rome or Tokyo or Jesus would not have died to give us entry to it. Heaven will not be boring.

These days, people seem to be as uninterested in marriage as they are in Heaven. And for the same reason: They have a very watered down idea of what marriage is. I hear young men speaking of not wanting to “end their lives yet.” They don’t want to get “tied down.” They don’t want to “miss out” on something. They are afraid that they will get married and have to do the same things every day. The funny thing is, most of them are already doing the same things every day. They go out and hit on a lot of different women. But, they want to do the same thing with the women. They go to a lot of different places. But, they do the same thing every place they go. They are creatures of habit. They just don’t know it. In a real marriage, there is love and in love there is freedom. There is no sense of restriction. You are free to truly build a life together.

Building a relationship with another person is one of the most rewarding things you can ever do. Once you learn to think past the things you would do on your own, you can start to truly develop a meaningful and fulfilling bond with your spouse. What I mean by that is there are certain things you are going to do whether you married or not. You are going to work. You will have some place to live. If you want to, you will go to college. You will have some form of transportation. Marriage may determine how and when you do these things, but even if you were not married you were going to do them anyway. So, to think past these is to realize that, while important, these things won’t make or break your marriage unless you let them. Your marriage is above and beyond what you do for a living, where you live, how educated you are or what kind of a car you drive. Remember-- rich, educated, Mercedes driving folks get divorced more than poor people.

The rewards and excitement of marriage start with realizing that the relationship is about the two of you and not about what you have or don’t have. It is really that simple. We tend to complicate matters by adding conditions that don’t belong in the mix. Learning to love one another is a lifetime experience. Growing in that love is a lifetime joy. Appreciating, enjoying, encouraging, comforting, forgiving, anticipating and desiring one another are all part of the satisfying nature of marriage. Yes there will be problems. So what? If you stayed single for the rest of your life, guess what? There will be PROBLEMS. That’s just part of life. When you are single, you deal with the problems and move on. When you are married, you deal with the problems and move on.

For people who base their happiness in marriage on what they accumulate, marriage will become a dull boring experience. For people who base their happiness in marriage on building their relationship, marriage will continue to be fulfilling and satisfying. When you understand what to base your marriage on, you won’t fear getting married. As a Christian, I believe that God created marriage just as the Bible teaches. God did not create anything to be boring and dull. That includes Marriage and Heaven.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Uncle,
Just wanted to say I enjoyed reading this one..thanks
Kashala