There is a movie out now called “Why Did I Get Married?” My wife and I saw it and we enjoyed it. In fact, everyone I know who saw it has enjoyed it. However, as I thought about the theme of the movie, I realized that on a personal level, the question, “why did I get married?” has no meaning for me. It may have had meaning thirty years ago, but now…? I have long since known why I got married. Now it’s about why I stay married. The answer is not complicated. It is simply that I love my wife. As a husband, I had to learn to live up to that love.
As a Christian, I am told to love my wife as Christ loves the church. Jesus said that He would never leave us or forsake us. If I am to love like Him, then I will never leave nor forsake my wife. I figured that if I am going to be here anyway, I may as well learn to love her as deeply as possible. After all of these years, I still haven’t hit rock bottom. My love for my wife is still growing deeper and deeper. God doesn’t set limits on His love for me, so, I don’t set limits on my love for her.
There are many great old love songs and great lines from those songs that help to express what I am trying to convey in this article. For instance, “In this world, where many people play at love, but, not too many stay in love, I’m Glad There Is You.” Or, “Here I Am and here I’ll stay…loving you.” “I love all the many charms about you. Above all, I want my arms around you…My sweet embraceable you.” “The mere idea of you, the longing here for you…You’ll never know how slow the moments go ‘till I’m near to you…” How about, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face…heard your laughter…held you close…kissed your lips.” “Our Love Is Here To Stay” because you are my “Endless Love.” When I see the “Look of Love” in my wife’s eyes, I am glad that look is for me. “A Song For You” says, “I love you in a place where there is no space or time.” So, again, my love for you has no limits. “That’s The Time I Feel Like Making Love To You” is saying that no matter the time or the circumstances, you are always the object of my desire. That’s all because… “This Guy’s In Love With You.”
Why I stay married is not the question. The question is “Why would I not?”
4 comments:
I went to see why i got married with my mother and she asked me what I thought about it at the end of the movie, and I was lost. I really couldn't relate to their relationships at all. Granted I understood the firendship relationships but romatically I was really lost and confused, and I am still confused, I am even confused about why I am so confused. The couples seemed like total fiction to me mainly because I havent had a serious relationship in years. Not since I was 21 and now I am 28. I love reading your articles but the love you speak of exist in a fantasy world for me and not in my reality.
Hello Camille,
The love that I write about used to be only a fantasy to me also...Until my wife and I made it a reality. I sincerely hope that it becomes a reality for you also.
Take care,
Charles Perkins
Rev. Perkins,
You are a wonderful husband, father, and a blessing to the body of Christ. I am both grateful and proud to be your wife. May God continue to use you for His glory.
Yours forever,
Rev. Barbara Perkins
Camille, the relationships in the movie seemed like total fiction because they were generally and in the case of the emotionally abusive husband
LAUGHABLY,
pitifully,
unreal.
But that's got more to do with the failings of that movie than failings in relationships.
When you have it, you can't imagine it not being there.
When it's not, it's hard to remember what it's like (therein romanticization can set in -- "absence makes the heart grow fonder").
Never wallow in lack.
Bathe in life.
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