35...2

It’s been a grand thing being in love with my wife for the past 35 years. Loving someone that deeply cannot happen without taking a look into yourself. When I take that close of a look into myself, I see the times that I haven’t quite lived up to what I had hoped to be as a husband and a father. I remember the look of encouragement in my wife’s eyes when I would come home from an audition and didn’t get the gig. I also remember times when I saw the look of “how are we going to pay rent” in her eyes when I didn’t get the gig. Through the years, I have always wanted to bring happiness and joy into her life. Yet, there were still times that I brought pain into the life of the person that I love more than life.

Seeing my son grow up was a great joy to me. He is my pride. I am grateful for the man that he is today. Still, as he was growing into that man, I felt helpless as he made some unwise choices for his life. I had helped others, some of them I didn’t even know. Yet, I couldn’t seem to find the right words or actions to reach my own son at the time.

I remember when my daughter was born. I held her and promised that I would never let anyone hurt her. But, when her heart was broken, all I could do was tell her the old cliché about time healing her heart. Though that was the truth, I wanted to be able to make the pain go away. But, no matter how much I love her and want to protect her, I couldn’t stop the pain.

No husband who truly loves his wife wants to bring pain into her life. No father ever wants to be unable to help his children. But, after 35 years of loving my wife, loving my children, I clearly see my failures. I know there have been disappointing moments that were caused by my failures. Love is not blind. It lets you know the fullness of who you are.

I thank the Lord that during these thirty-five years, I have brought more joy than pain to my wife and children. I have brought more encouragement, and comfort than disappointments. I have brought more love than failure. Being a husband and father doesn’t mean you are perfect. Being a true husband and father means you keep trying until you get it as close to right as you can. Then you continue to make it better as much as you can for as long as you can. I have never stopped growing in my love for my wife, my son, my daughter. I will continue to love them with all that is in me to love. I know that, being just a man, I will probably disappoint them again; but never intentionally. I hope those times will be few and far between. Hopefully, they will continue to see and experience my constantly growing love for them.

This is not meant to be a “true confessions” type of piece. It is meant to point out how good and great marriages overcome some things to become that way. Marriages that work don’t just happen. We make them happen by staying the course and continuing to give whatever it takes of ourselves to make it work. We never give in to the failures and disappointments. We never give up on us.