Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Am I Sexy Enough For You?

Some women spend a lot of money, time and energy in the name of looking cute and sexy. Low cut tops to show off their cleavage, and short dresses and skirts to show off their legs are quite common. And that is the problem, it is QUITE COMMON. It is seen so much, that one blends into another. There is always another sexy, cute girl around the corner. You see, sexy and cute appeal to the eye. Sexy never gets past the eye of most men. And the eyes have no memory. The eyes focus on what’s in front of them at the moment. Out of sight, out of mind. That is the essence of cute and sexy. Sexy will always get attention, but it almost never holds interest. And you don’t hear grown men referring to a woman that he is interested in as being “cute.” Cute is for boys, not men. Men use words like attractive, beautiful, sensual and many other ways to describe a woman of interest. But, not cute. Cute is reserved for boys and girls.

The woman that holds a man’s attention is the one who gets past his eyes and into his head. Sexy and cute very seldom get into a man’s head. There is a difference between being sexy, which is contrived and made up and having sex appeal, which flows naturally from the woman’s character. Men remember women who are self aware and self confident. Sexy is only self centered. Self confident-self centered: Be aware of the difference. A sexy woman tries to dress to make her self look good. A self aware woman makes what ever she wears look good. She understands that clothes don’t make the woman, the woman makes the clothes. She is not into fad, she is into style. And her style is personal. It fits her. She is the one who will get past the eyes of a man and get into his head. He knows that there is not another “her” right around the corner.

Sexy, at the most, leads to a booty call. Class and style lead to relationships. Taking care of how she looks is automatic for a self confident woman. So, her whole life is not about how she looks. She also is interested in other people and develops a sense of humor about her self. She is usually easy to talk to. I am not talking about cookie cutter, stamped out women who all think and act alike. These are just general qualities that are usually found in self confident women to one degree or another. How they play out in each particular woman is different. They will have different tastes in clothes, foods, music, humor, etc. One could be dressed in a sweat shirt and jeans and the other in an evening gown and they could have vastly different personalities. But, both will still exhibit that easy self confidence, that sense of self that goes way beyond the taste in clothes. And they will both get past the eyes of a man and into his head, though for very different reasons.

Toys are cute. You don’t want to be just another cute plaything for some man who still thinks like a boy. Men look at cute and sexy, no doubt. But, there is no long term attraction to cute and sexy because more is always on the way. Cute and sexy is like icing without the cake: Sweet, but no substance. You get tired of sweet with no substance very quickly. Men may look at “sweet” and may even want to taste “sweet,” but, they are attracted to substance. Again, I am talking about men, not boys.

I am not posting this to put any woman down regardless of how she dresses. I am simply sharing some facts of life that I shared with my daughter. Women sometimes think they know what men want. I am telling you what they really want. You are free to dress and act any way that you like. But, remember, if you only reach the eyes, it’s out of sight, out of mind. If you really want to impress a man, don’t try. Just be yourself and you will get past his eyes and into his head.

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