When we see words in the Bible such as “pastor,” “bishop”, “apostle,” “priest” or “prophet,” they were not merely titles. In fact, for the most part, they were not titles at all. They were job descriptions. Rather than speaking of what a person called himself, they spoke of the job that person was called by God to do. For instance, you never read of Paul referring to himself as “Apostle Paul.” He always says, “Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ.” Just as you would not say, “Here’s Plumber Joe,” but, rather, “Here is Joe, the plumber.” It was not until centuries later that the job descriptions became more of a title. As a result, today we have too many ministers that are living on the title. What we need is more ministers who live up to the job description. Yes, these words are much more than mere titles.
In this same pattern of thought, we have men today who act as if the word “husband” is merely a title. They want the title without the substance that goes along with it. They think of themselves as “husbands” only in the sense that they now have a wife to serve them. They now have someone to control. When they are out chasing other women, being a husband becomes a matter of convenience. If they are married, they don’t have to make a real commitment to the women that they are playing around with. It’s just another con game. They string women along with the “promise” that they will get a divorce as soon as it is possible. The thing is, getting a divorce never becomes possible.
Just a side thought here for the ladies reading this. Ladies, don’t think that you can change him. If he is cheating on his wife, the only reason he will leave her is that she finally catches on and leaves him. Then he may come to you. But, if he does, beware because he will probably do the same to you: Cheat on you and try to control you. That’s his nature. You can’t change it. There is an old Oscar Brown, Jr. song called “The Snake.” It is about a woman on her way to work on a winter morning. She is walking through the park on her way to the bus stop when she comes across a half frozen, almost dead snake. She feels sorry for the snake. She takes him home and nurses him back to health. Every day she rushes home from work to see how the snake is doing. One day she comes home to find the snake all laid back in the easy chair listening to some soft jazz and sipping some lemonade. She is so glad to see that the snake is well. She picks him up and hugs him close and tells him how happy she is. Just then, the snake opens his mouth and bites her. She screams at the snake and asks him how he could treat her this way after all she has done for him. “You know your bite is poisonous and I will surely die,” she says. “Oh, shut up silly woman,” the snake said with a grin. “You knew darn well I was a snake before you took me in!”
Now back to the story. As men, we are called to do much more than just saying we are a husband. We are called to be a husband. We are called, if you will, to live up to the job description and not just live on the title. When the Bible tells us to become one flesh with our wives and to love our wives as Jesus loved the church, those are not suggestions. Those are commands. Those are standards that are set for us. Those are God’s expectations of us. Paul, Peter, John and others recognized the call of God on their lives. They expressed that calling through their love for God and through their actions in serving Him. As men, we are to recognize the call of God on our lives as husbands. And, likewise, we express that calling through our actions by loving God and our wives and by serving both. As leader of the church, Jesus said that He did not come to be served, but rather, to serve. We are to follow His example. This serving is done out of love, not out of duty. You simply do it because you love your wife enough to do it.
Being a husband should mean something to you. It should define who you are. Other than your relationship with God, your marriage is the most important relationship that you have. Treat it that way. Don’t just claim to be a husband. BE A HUSBAND. Being a husband is like anything else that you do. It is a process. You grow into it. You continually tweak it. But, first, you have to have the desire to be it. If you have ever played a sport or a game that you really liked, you trained and practiced until you became better at it. The more you trained, the better you became. Being a better husband is no different. Put in the time, the effort, the desire and you will become better. There is no one set pattern for all men to follow because all men do not think alike. So, whatever it takes for you to be a better husband, as the gospel of Nike says, “Just Do It!” God is good. While He sees us and loves us corporately, He also sees us and loves us as individuals. So, He will work with you and in you to do what is necessary for Him to work through you. Ultimately, it is Him working through you that will make you the best husband that you can be. As husbands, we just have to follow His lead.
In this same pattern of thought, we have men today who act as if the word “husband” is merely a title. They want the title without the substance that goes along with it. They think of themselves as “husbands” only in the sense that they now have a wife to serve them. They now have someone to control. When they are out chasing other women, being a husband becomes a matter of convenience. If they are married, they don’t have to make a real commitment to the women that they are playing around with. It’s just another con game. They string women along with the “promise” that they will get a divorce as soon as it is possible. The thing is, getting a divorce never becomes possible.
Just a side thought here for the ladies reading this. Ladies, don’t think that you can change him. If he is cheating on his wife, the only reason he will leave her is that she finally catches on and leaves him. Then he may come to you. But, if he does, beware because he will probably do the same to you: Cheat on you and try to control you. That’s his nature. You can’t change it. There is an old Oscar Brown, Jr. song called “The Snake.” It is about a woman on her way to work on a winter morning. She is walking through the park on her way to the bus stop when she comes across a half frozen, almost dead snake. She feels sorry for the snake. She takes him home and nurses him back to health. Every day she rushes home from work to see how the snake is doing. One day she comes home to find the snake all laid back in the easy chair listening to some soft jazz and sipping some lemonade. She is so glad to see that the snake is well. She picks him up and hugs him close and tells him how happy she is. Just then, the snake opens his mouth and bites her. She screams at the snake and asks him how he could treat her this way after all she has done for him. “You know your bite is poisonous and I will surely die,” she says. “Oh, shut up silly woman,” the snake said with a grin. “You knew darn well I was a snake before you took me in!”
Now back to the story. As men, we are called to do much more than just saying we are a husband. We are called to be a husband. We are called, if you will, to live up to the job description and not just live on the title. When the Bible tells us to become one flesh with our wives and to love our wives as Jesus loved the church, those are not suggestions. Those are commands. Those are standards that are set for us. Those are God’s expectations of us. Paul, Peter, John and others recognized the call of God on their lives. They expressed that calling through their love for God and through their actions in serving Him. As men, we are to recognize the call of God on our lives as husbands. And, likewise, we express that calling through our actions by loving God and our wives and by serving both. As leader of the church, Jesus said that He did not come to be served, but rather, to serve. We are to follow His example. This serving is done out of love, not out of duty. You simply do it because you love your wife enough to do it.
Being a husband should mean something to you. It should define who you are. Other than your relationship with God, your marriage is the most important relationship that you have. Treat it that way. Don’t just claim to be a husband. BE A HUSBAND. Being a husband is like anything else that you do. It is a process. You grow into it. You continually tweak it. But, first, you have to have the desire to be it. If you have ever played a sport or a game that you really liked, you trained and practiced until you became better at it. The more you trained, the better you became. Being a better husband is no different. Put in the time, the effort, the desire and you will become better. There is no one set pattern for all men to follow because all men do not think alike. So, whatever it takes for you to be a better husband, as the gospel of Nike says, “Just Do It!” God is good. While He sees us and loves us corporately, He also sees us and loves us as individuals. So, He will work with you and in you to do what is necessary for Him to work through you. Ultimately, it is Him working through you that will make you the best husband that you can be. As husbands, we just have to follow His lead.
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