Tuesday, April 3, 2007

MARRIAGE

My wife, Barbara, and I have been married for 33 years. We are more in love now than ever. In marriage, we discovered real romance. There is nothing particularly romantic about being a player. All you have to do is put on a show for couple of hours or days and then move on before the person your are with really gets to know you. But, to spend a life time with one woman making her feel like the most loved woman in the world, that's romance. To know the joy of overcoming, surviving and indeed thriving...That is real romance.

As a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I study the Bible regularly. It fascinated me to find that the Bible says more about romance in marriage than any other topic on marriage. There are a few scriptures on being a good parent; some on being a good provider and several other aspects of marriage. But, there is a whole book in the Bible on marital romance plus a volume of other scriptures. Finding this out surprised me because, since the '70's, all I heard about romance is that it doesn't last so, you have to be good friends. Friendship lasts, but romance doesn't. That was the word coming from psychologists, sociologists, marriage counselors, books, articles and even pastors. Romance doesn't last they said. So, you have to be friends with your mate. That sounded reasonable to me...Until I read the Bible. God's Word stresses romance big time. So, I took a second look at this friendship thing. I noticed that whenever I heard a news report about a couple getting a divorce, something was said over and over again: "We are getting a divorce. But, we are STILL FRIENDS." They are getting a divorce, but they are still friends. What happened? They left their friend at home and ran off with their lover.

In Biblical romance, friendship is automatically included. But, romance is not automatically included in friendship. To reduce your wife to simply being your best buddy is to ultimately reduce your marriage to mediocrity. No matter how buddy buddy the two of you become, your mate should always inspire a hunger in you. It's a choice that you make. You can and should choose to desire your wife, your husband. I spend time every day thinking about loving my wife. I spend time every day thinking about making love to my wife. So, when I get home from work, I am always excited to see my wife because she remains the object of my desire. She is my one and only fantasy. No one else belongs in that space in me. She is the only one to occupy myspace in that way.

We have reaped the benefits of staying the course and doing it God's way. He has blessed us with a love the neither of us ever imagined possible. Today, young couples give up so easily. Couples married over 25 years are becoming an endangered species. All happy couples that have been married over 25 years have war stories to tell. The thing is, we all stayed and won the war. You can to. Particularly if you do it God's way. My wife and I love God more than we love each other and He honors that love for Him by drawing us closer to each other. As we get closer to Him, we get closer to each other. I fall in love with God every day... I fall in love with my wife every day. That is real romance.

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