Friday, April 13, 2007

A Tale Of Three Men

When it comes to male/female relationships, there are basically three kinds of men. They are: The Don Juan; the Casanova; and the Romeo.

The Don Juan is a man who easily gets women; they are very attracted to him initially. He is smooth in his style, extremely charismatic. But, the thing is, he hates women and his only desire is to misuse them. He is a sociopath. He has no conscience when it comes to mistreating women. He is completely self-centered. Women can sense the danger in him, but, they usually think that he "wouldn't do that to me." He will. "He will change." He won't. "I can change him." She can't. So, women are usually left feeling cheapened and hurt after an experience with Don Juan. I am not saying that it is impossible for Don Juan to change. I am saying that no one can change him unless he wants to be changed. If he does want to change, then through the grace of God…

The Casanova loves women. That's his thing. He loves WOMEN. Not one woman. He will make you feel like the most loved woman in the world…when he is with you. Then it's on to the next bed and she becomes "the most loved woman in the world." He is fun, kind and loving. But, he is not true or faithful. As a bee transports it pollen from plant to plant, Casanova transports his seed from bed to bed. Whereas Don Juan only finds pleasure in hurting women, Casanova truly finds pleasure in pleasing women. His concern for the woman he is with at the moment is real…at the moment. He will sing, cry, dance, beg or do whatever it takes to let the woman of the moment know that he is into her…at the moment. He usually likes married women so that he doesn't have to pretend to want any long term monogamous commitment. He is only monogamous until he gets out of her bed. While sexually satisfied at the moment, women are usually left feeling unfulfilled and empty. But, like I said he does love WOMEN.

The Don Juan hates women. The Casanova loves WOMEN. The Romeo is a man who loves one woman and spends his life with her making her truly the most loved woman in the world. Yes, Romeo is a one woman man. He will give his all into the relationship. His desire is to have a woman that he can grow old with while learning to love her as deeply as possible and receiving and honoring the love she has for him. He longs to share that ever deepening love that only comes with shared time. He can see the beauty in other women. But, his desire is only for his wife. He can appreciate other women's personalities and such. But, his desire is only for his wife. Monogamy is not a question for him, it is a privilege. After a lifetime of sharing love and romance; of desiring and lusting for one another; of growing together in oneness; of overcoming obstacles, if Romeo dies first, his wife is usually left with a feeling of being blessed for having been in such a relationship.

Of course, these are broad generalizations of men. Men, like women, are much more complex. But, I shared this thought with my daughter so that she can at least be aware of the tendencies of a man that she might be interested in. Again, this is not the end-all/know-all definition of all men. These are just some of the thoughts and observations of an old gray bearded Romeo.

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